Sex Toy Shopping for Beginners

So, you're ready to explore the world of sex toys, huh? First off, welcome! Whether you're solo or bringing a partner (or several, shoutout to the non-monogamous folks 🖤), shopping for sex toys can feel both exciting and a bit overwhelming. With so many options out there, from vibrators to dildos, butt plugs to wands, where do you even start?

But don’t worry—I got you covered! Let’s break down the process of choosing your first toy, where to buy it, and what you should keep in mind so that your experience is as fun and enjoyable as possible (because trust me, it will be!). 😏

Why Everyone Should Try Sex Toys (Yes, Everyone)

Some people think toys are only for those who aren’t having enough sex or for couples looking to “spice things up.” Nah. Toys aren’t just a backup plan for a dull sex life—they're the main act for anyone who wants to explore new sensations and deepen their pleasure. Whether you're single, dating, in a long-term relationship, or enjoying a mix of everything, sex toys can add a whole new dimension to your pleasure.

Toys Aren’t Replacing Your Partner—They’re Your Tag Team

Let’s clear something up: using sex toys in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re cheating on or replacing your partner. Toys are your teammates in pleasure—they can add variety and excitement to the bedroom. Think of them as a little secret weapon to enhance your connection. And hey, trying new things together? That's hot.

For more guidance on how to select your new best bedroom teammate, you can head to this blog post. But for how to nail your first sex toy shopping adventure, read on!

Stick to a Budget

When you’re first starting out, it’s hard to know right away what you’re going to like. So there’s no need to buy a $199 gold bullet vibrator (yes, that exists) when a little plastic guy will do the trick just fine. My Pleasure Product Guide has options at all different price points!

Find a Reputable Sex Store

Now that you have an idea of what kind of toy you want and your budget, let’s talk about where to buy it. Because where you shop matters! You wouldn’t buy sushi from a gas station, right? The same concept applies to sex toys. Finding a trustworthy, reputable store ensures you’re getting quality, body-safe products and a shopping experience that makes you feel comfortable and empowered.

To find my favorite shops, peep my Pleasure Product Guide.

How to choose a safe sex shop:

Look for Body-Safe Materials

The biggest thing when shopping for sex toys is making sure they’re made from body-safe materials. Stick with stores that clearly list the materials of their toys and offer products made from high-quality materials like silicone, glass, stainless steel, or ABS plastic. Avoid stores that sell a lot of toys made from jelly or porous materials—they can harbor bacteria and aren’t as safe for your body.

Research the Store’s Reputation

Before you buy, take a minute to Google the store’s reviews. Do they have good ratings? Are they known for selling high-quality, body-safe products? Look for customer feedback on their website or social media.

Check if they’re affiliated with any industry certifications, like being certified body-safe by third-party organizations. Reputable stores usually have knowledgeable staff who are open about product quality and eager to help you find what’s best for your needs.

Tip: If you feel overwhelmed by choices, see if the store has a live chat or customer service team that can answer your questions. A good store will offer expert advice!

Choose Inclusive Stores

A good sex store will be inclusive and welcoming to all identities and sexual preferences. Pay attention to their marketing and product offerings—are they LGBTQ+ friendly? Do they have toys for people of all genders and body types? Reputable stores create a space where everyone feels seen and represented.

Tip: Check out the language the store uses. If they’re using inclusive terms and representing diverse experiences, you’re in good hands.

Support Ethical Stores

Many top sex toy shops emphasize ethical practices, from ensuring their toys are made in safe conditions to supporting body-safe, non-toxic materials. If a store is transparent about where their products come from and how they’re made, that’s a great sign!

Shop In-Person (When Possible)

I always recommend that my clients go to a brick-and-mortar shop when they’re new to shopping for toys because you can try before you buy and actually feel the vibrators, sensations, and patterns of the toy! A good sex shop will also usually have a fantastic staff that you can…

Ask for Help

The other benefit to shopping at a local brick-and-mortar shop is that you can ask for help! Not sure what you like? Ask for help! Think you have an idea but want to see what other options are out there? Ask for help! Want to make sure a lube is compatible with your new toy? Ask for help! Are you sensing a theme here?

One thing NOT to buy at a sex shop? 

Toy cleaner! You do not need a toy cleaner to clean your toys!! You can use regular old soap, any soap that you would use on your body is safe to use on your toys (I use Dr. Bronner’s).

And there you have it! Everything you need to know for a successful shopping experience. If you have any questions (or if you still feel overwhelmed - fair), please feel free to schedule a FREE 15 minute consult via email or on my website.